What's for news today!!

Shahbano:Now, don't the papers have any good news at all?

M: Let me see, Ma'am.
(Silence, silence, silence for the next 10 minutes as the Minister desperately scans the newspapers for some joy and hope.

Shahbano: I get it.I think I'll go and rest some. (Leaves)

The same story is repeated day after day.The Queen comes to court, looking for some good news or at least the hint of some good news in the papers.But inevitably she meets with disappointment.

She has now started looking really ill.She has lost weight, has dark circles around her eyes, and never smiles.

Her Ministers are very concerned for her life, and are spending days and nights wondering how to remedy the situation.

(P.S.:The Minister,it is clear, has not learnt Goebbelesque ways yet; and hence all the news that reaches the palace is undoctored)

Minister: Your Highness, there is intense fighting in Crosnia and Boatia; our troops are doing their best to bring order, but....

Shahbano: Yes, I understand.What else?

M: Shrub of the United provinces has taken the law into his own hands, and is threatening to bomb Baden-Baden out of his lair.

Shahbano: Oh dear, will they never learn!! Have you conveyed to Shrub my intense displeasure at his antics?

M: Yes Ma'am, I have.But all he does is to kick his horse harder, and lasso in hand, scream,"I'll get him, I'll get him'.

(Shakes his head)

Shahbano: (looking tired now): What else?
Minister:Your Highness, fresh riots have broken out between Hindus and Muslims in Grrrrindia.
Shahbano: Is it that General of Messistan up to his old tricks again?

M: It seems not Ma'am. It is the Monkey group this time, wanting an eye for an eyelash, a tooth for a chipped tooth, innocent lives for their frustrations.What's more is...

Shahbano: ( looking very unwell indeed): I think that's enough for today. I'll review the situation tomorrow.
So saying she leaves the court for her private chambers.
(Next day in court):

Shahbano: How are things today? Much improved, I hope?

Minister: Yes Ma'am, I mean, not really, Ma'am.

Shahbano: Well, out with it, then.

M: The riots in Grrrindia are unabated, mobs are out on the street, looting and killing is the order of the day, death toll so far- 545, injured run into thousands.Our forces have been rushed there, but the Chief Monster, I mean, Minister of Grrrindia is not very cooperative.

M: Shrub has gone even wilder, he has attacked Badenistan.He is gleefully dropping bombs all over the region.He called to speak to you.
We have conveyed to him that you are indisposed, and that you wish to see the end of the problem. To which he said, yeah sure, he'll take care of all problems including the Axis of Evil and Baden-Baden.He doesn't really get it, does he?

Shahbano ( furiously): I am going to have to banish him to a ranch in Flexus.He can flex his muscles out there all he wants.The Might House has affected his head.

The court of Empress Shahbano is in session.On her slender shoulders rests the responsibility of a vast empire that stretches the entire circumference of the earth.
She is assisted in her duties, by a panel of wise and eminent ministers who have served her very well in the past.

Empress Shahbano is loved and revered by her people.She has done much to ensure that peace and prosperity are the order of the day.

However, the last couple of months have been very disturbing for her.Every day, news pours in from her various provinces that is very discomfiting.

Now she readies for another day, and hopefully some better news.

Shahbano: Yes Minister, please read out this morning's news.

Minister for Information: I'm afraid it's still not very good.